A Thousand Love Mishaps (9)

Now let me make this clear once and for all…. I am not a bad person. Nope, I am not. I’m just a young kid trying to live. Can I Live? Please. Please my Niggas and Niggresses. Can a brother live?! I didn’t have a point I just always wanted to ask that question to anyone that had time to waste (Hehehehehe). So Mirabel kissed me. I was no longer a lip virgin. Ah! People. You should have seen me walk around the next day… I was like king Kong. I felt like the king of China. I felt like the president of the jungle. Or is the other way round… anyways shaaaaa! I was the Baus!…And I was loving my life. Brought out my last tin of Corned beef and gave it to the boys at the dining table.
“Wetin dey worry dis one” one of my hating class mates asked,- I can’t remember his name- but I didn’t care to share…what kind of man kisses and tells. Well, to be completely honest, I told my bunk mate, then he told his friend, then that one told his girlfriend (Oponu…Ashewo) Then that one told… It doesn’t matter who the hell she told, once a girl know, the whole solar systems knows already. But don’t you worry my dear readers, I didn’t get into too much trouble, Mirabel never found out, or maybe she did and didn’t care.
Forget say Mirabel na the school “whatever they want to call her”. Me and her were down, she makes me sing love songs. WhoooOoooOooooOoo! *that was an ad-lib in case you were wondering. Sooo after school hours, Mirabel asked me to accompany her to the administrative block, a five storey building. She said she forgot her bag there and didn’t want to go back alone.
“What is your bag doing in admin block?” I asked.
“I went there to read during break and left my bag” she answered.
“Oh…okay”
There was an awkward silence after that… We climbed the first flight of stairs. the second, the third, the fourth… we were on the third floor by then.
She paused, walked into one of the old labs and stopped at the window…staring out at Something. then it clicked…I must have done a good job of the last time we kissed she wanted a “take home to Mama”experience. I had to be smooth. I walked over to her and slowly put my hand around her waist. She sounds around sharply.
“Do you think I’m a whore?” She blurted out from nowhere, my brain froze for a few seconds. My hands fell off her waist (Apa ti jabo O Jesu!)
“I- I- I don’t understand…”
“Just answer the question Ade ” She had a serious look on her face.
“I don’t think so… I know people say things but I don’t care”
Her expression softened.
“I Like you for who you are…Kind, friendly, Smart, Sw-”
You guess it. We were kissing. She held me close, her arms around my neck,she grabbed my hand and placed it on her boob.
“Oh shit” I thought to myself “I’m about to loose my virginity in a science lab”
I didn’t really care… No I did care, my brain cared, my body on the other hand, that’s a totally different story.
Badoo… I pushed her softly against the wall, and pressed against her… she moaned. I ran my hand up her thigh as I slowed down the kissing, deepening it at th same time.
I couldn’t control my words…”Gawwd I Love you”. She stopped. She looked me in the eyes, disappointment oozing from her eyes.
She turned from me and started to walk away.
“Hey! Hey!…Mirable.” I called to her “I’m not lying, I mean it!” She paused. Looked at me with teary eyes and said “Don’t ever say those words to me or any girl…. it’s a lie!” Before I could say another word, she was out of the room. I walked behind her as she stumped away mumbling stuff I couldn’t hear to herself.
I tried a second time to talk to her. To get an …Anything.
“Mirabel… Can we-”
“Do you actually think I could love you. Small boy like you”
I felt like I had been slapped… six…teen… thousand times… with a metal glove…by hulk… on steroid.
I stopped on my tracks.
“Better stay away from me… Love… Odeh!” she hissed and walked away.
Crazy person!
The next time I saw her, it was with I.K., he brought his parents’ car and she was in there with him. I just decided to free her… I kuku wanted to study.
Crazy Person…. Mtcheww. This time around I was moving on easily.

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Rantings of a Short Blaq Boi: Women In Our World Today.

Women In our world today
Most women, nowadays, want something they cant find….something that isn’t wired into the nature of most men,if not all men. They want something the society doesn’t have, cant have, isn’t wired to have. Like I picked from a movie “Its the ugly truth”.
What am I talking about? I’m talking about women who want to be treated like ladies, they want someone who will care for them, who will protect them, who will open the door for them, pay some of the bills, men who will do their manly duties, which is not bad at all, see where the problem comes in when women want to be treated equally as men, no I’m not saying women should be treated any less than men, I’m saying women want to treat men the way men treat men. Especially in a relationship, be it friendship, romantic or marital stage. Thats just plain childish and twisted if you ask me (Thanks to Hollywood….or maybe its just the western society)Even the Bible makes it clear, the man, more than anything, NEEDS submission, and respect. Love him, but you must be willing to submit and respect, he must know you are submissive and that he is respected even more than he knows he is loved, trust me, its the truth. A woman needs tender loving care, yes the big T.L.C., the man should be tender, the man should be considerate. The man should not do to his woman or female friend, what he wouldnt’ want to happen to his own body, am I right? The man’s duty is to care for, to protect, to nurture, and provide for his own body, which is what the woman also needs. The woman, like I said earlier must R.E.S.P.E.C.T the man, and honour him, and Submit to him in Love. The equation will be most satisfactory if the man is as Loving and considerate to the woman as he would be to his very own self. Don’t make her cook when you obviously see she is tired, tho its her duty as a wife(women, wether U like it or not, its the universal truth, even in the animal kingdom, take your face off Holly Wood and suck it up!) I would like to see a family where the woman comes in and asks the man “Where is my food honey?” Or honey “Whats for dinner?” If you think its african mentality, then you better think again…lets not drift too far. Dont make love to her like she is some piece of meat. Man, dont be a selfish pig! Even dogs and goats put in a little effort., satisfy your woman, even though its her duty to submit to you, even in sex. Being nice and sensitive sometimes doesnt mean you are not in control. In simple conversation, you can be playfull and still be respectful, you dont have to hurt his ego(all men have it, deal with it. You have your periods too,so its kinda equal. If men had a compiled ego issue that just burst out a few days every month, you would get what I mean). Being playful and respectful is something all woman can do, its called simple charm…you can learn it. Women and men are equal, but NOT the same. We both have duties, we both have parts to fulfill, we both have our faults, we both have to support each other, we both need love,we both have our strengths and weaknesses, but these things are not necessarily in the same way. Get it straight ladies and Gentlemen. We are Equal but not the same. Whats good for the goose is good for the gander, very true,but that doesnt make the gander a goose, people, get it straight! Haha! Kai…mean I’m almost losing my appetite. wait… Am I ranting again? Yes? Good. Deal with it!

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Don’t they just look so perfect?… *Yinmu*

The Rantings Of A Short Black Boy …Short Blaq Boi

*Picks up Magazine*…*Sips Garri…Suddenly drops spoon* *Angrily drops magazine*
What the Hell! Whaaaaat the hell is it! All this magazines sef, what is the problem! Always talking all manner of Nonsense. Im sure you’re wondering what I am ranting about. Well let me tell you, its just rediculous that the media has put it upon itself to make life miserable for men. Yes, men! And Im talking about this “six feet” tall burden that has been put on our backs as guys. Yes, it started from fashion, the person must be 6 feet tall, all built up, all rubbed up in oil…does he have to be six feet tall?! Then of course we have the movies, must the guy AAAALWAYS have to be taller,I mean, who would die if the girl was taller for once. Just once! And the heroe has to be taller than the damsel, yack! So unrealistic. Now every small girl is shouting he has to be”tall dark and handsome”…how are you sure all the

“tall dark and handsome” fellas out there are not serial killers, psychopaths or even ….Gay…yeah, it stings that alot are. So what is my point? My point is this, dwarfs should be utilized more often, they are usually pretty hot if U ask me, well built too. And you would give alot of guys a chance in the dating world. Come on, just for one year! Use not-so-tall guys for adverts, romatic roles and fashion spreads. I mean look at Bowwow, MI,Flavour Flave,Martin Lawrence…heck even my causin Spookie!
That being said, all movie directors should use lines like “He doesnt have to be tall” or “Ohhh George is so cute, though he’s short,he knows how to please a Lady” “Oh I just love medium height men” I mean, the list is endless! Am I being unreasonable? Of course Not! Damn near gabe me a heart faliure a few years back, checking through movie channels.. I wanted to scream for my mom and a glass of milk and Gin(milk and Gin is crappy by the way) that said. I will try to rest my case now. For goodness sake Im not gonna keep quiet…its just not right. Im gonna keep fighting and talking…and well, writing for the greater good. The good of all men, all men bellow six feet…Oh yes, for I have a dream! A dream that a dwarf gets to play 007, that some day, all hot girls will look on tall men like they were plagued…Oh yeahhhhh Baby, the tall ones started it first! Dont blame me for being a psycho! …wait, did I just call myself a psycho!?…Loooool! *sips garri* okay,Im just messing with y’all,Im not some short version of Adulf Hitler. However, all men are created equal, regardless of their height or complexion, or complexes, past, and present. Ultimately, the world will see you the way you truly see yourself. See the best possible YOU, act the best possible YOU,and you will see that you have become the BEST POSSIBLE YOU. Try it for a month, then try being nice for a week. You’ll see 🙂

Our Expectations In Relationships

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There are two big problems in dating.
1) You don’t want the people who want you.
2) The people you want don’t want you in return.
Now, take a look at those two problems; which one do you think you can change?
Most of us take the futile route of trying to change the second one – “How do I MAKE him like me?” “I’m exactly what he’s looking for!” “He doesn’t know what’s good for him.” But, as we’ve established a few hundred times on this blog, you can’t change anyone else’s thinking.
What you can change is YOU.
To be fair, it’s possible to “make” someone like you by becoming a more desirable catch – there’s no doubt that a man who earns more money, gains more confidence, and gets more experience will have a more positive dating life. But he’s not actually CHANGING women. He’s only changing himself.
But increasing your dating options can be a risky proposition, at best. Men can’t always make more money. Women can’t always lose weight. And as easy as it is to talk about gaining confidence and experience, most folks would rather sit on the sidelines and complain that the people you want don’t want you in return.
This is a waste of time.
In fact, the easiest remedy for an ailing love life is to want the people who want you.
In fact, the easiest remedy for an ailing love life is to want the people who want you.
It is anathema to suggest this, of course. Any conversation about opening up to more potential prospects leads us down the slippery slope to settling. And as the furor surrounding Lori Gottlieb’s brilliant book proved, nothing pisses women off more than the suggestion that they may be somewhat responsible for being single.
But, to be crystal clear, it’s not just women.
There are tons of 38-year-old male Ivy-League educated lawyers who just can’t find a single woman good enough for him. These guys, who are, like me, probably 7′s in looks and 9′s in intelligence, just can’t help but to go for women who are 9′s in looks, but 5′s in emotional intelligence/compatibility.
One of the things that I’ve often thought is that none of these men would marry someone like my wife, even though my wife is – objectively – just about the coolest woman on the planet. They’d have the same objections I did: a little too old, not a Harvard grad, blahblahblah.
The reason I’m bringing this up is that I made a CHOICE to find an amazing partner and create an amazing life – and all I had to do was give up that IMAGE that I’d had of dating a woman who was Just. Like. Me.
If you’re single, and never find anybody “good enough,” chances are that you do the exact same thing.
Today, I’m calling you out.
Because if you’ve been dating this way for 5, 10 or 20 years, there’s something that you’re not seeing.
And that something is this:
If a 42-year-old man says that he’s ONLY attracted to 9′s and 10′s who are in their late 20′s, that’s fabulous. But if NONE of the 9′s and 10′s he covets are interested in him in return, it only makes sense that this man needs to recalibrate his dating options. 6′s and 7′s are readily interested in him, but he doesn’t find them attractive enough. Without knowing this man, I think it would be clear that he’s overestimating himself. If he can get only 6s and 7′s in looks, he’s probably a 6 or a 7 in looks himself. Therefore, if he ever wants to get married, it would probably make sense to start appreciating the 6s and 7′s and choose the one that he’s most attracted to, who shares the same values and can be his best friend for life.
I’d think it would be hard to argue with that logic.
So should it be any more controversial if we flip the genders around?
If you think you “deserve” a certain kind of partner … and yet you’ve NEVER gotten him, you need to start considering another kind of partner.
If the 38-year-old woman MBA who owns her own condo, runs marathons, and can complete the Sunday New York Times crossword only likes 9′s and 10′s… but those same men always a) prefer younger women or b) ultimately break her heart because they’re egotistical, selfish narcissists who only want younger women and aren’t ready to settle down… should she keep holding out for them? Wouldn’t it make much more sense to marry one of the devoted 7′s who think she’s the bee’s knees?
Apparently not.
Because that would be settling.
And settling is bad.
Therefore, all of these amazing men and women remain single indefinitely. Because They. Will. Not. Settle.
They would rather tilt at windmills, trying to acquire a partner who DOESN’T want them, instead of realizing that the BEST partner for them is the one who WANTS them and VALUES them and thinks THEY are a catch.
And the culprit in all this? Our unrealistic expectations – of how we see ourselves – and of what we expect of our partners.
If you price a candy bar at $100 and there are no buyers, you need to lower the price of the candy bar.
If you think you “deserve” a certain kind of partner – not just someone who is rich, hot, and brilliant, but a rich, hot, brilliant partner who STICKS AROUND – and yet you’ve NEVER gotten him, you need to start considering another kind of partner.
The key is in letting go of the image you’ve been holding onto. Because real relationships aren’t about credentials; they’re about connection. And I truly believe there are thousands of people you can potentially be happy with… if only you didn’t have such a rigid idea of what it looked like.
Last night, I was coaching a favorite client, Katie, who is part of my Inner Circle AND a Passion Course member.
Katie is 58 and never married. Of course. She never wanted to settle.
After rebranding her on Match.com, she’s getting a ton of attention and is being chased down by two men simultaneously.
Tom is the brainy, charismatic one who talks about himself incessantly, sends template emails, and hasn’t followed up in a week.
Bill is a fun guy, makes her laugh, is a great kisser, and has followed up for four dates in two weeks.
Katie wanted to know how to make Tom like her and how to get rid of Bill. When we dug deeper, I learned that she was embarrassed at the thought of introducing her friends to Bob because he wasn’t as “sophisticated” as her other tony Connecticut friends.
I asked Katie, point-blank: Are you attracted to Bill? “Yes”
Real relationships aren’t about credentials; they’re about connection.
Do you have fun around Bill? “Oh, yes!”
Is he consistently good to you? “Absolutely. He’s crazy about me.”
So why are you trying so hard to run away? Because of what your friends think? Because Bill’s not what you’ve pictured in your head for 58 YEARS?
“Yeah, kind of.”
I’m delighted to report that Katie is going out with Bill again. And I wouldn’t be surprised if she “settled” her way into an amazing relationship.
By thinking you’re “better” than everyone who wants you, you’re eliminating the greatest source of love around – the person who wants you! And you may be surprised to find that you can be EXTREMELY happy with someone who doesn’t meet your preconceived image of your ideal mate.
I certainly have been.
(Culled from http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog.)

THAT MOMENT

That moment
When you realise you’e unique
When you realise you have a purpose
When you realise you have a role to play in your own life
And you determine wether or not you will be forever happy or miserable
That moment you realise you need to get up and DO SOMETHING productive
You realise you are too much to afford to be lazy

That moment you realize life is NOT PERFECT but is beautiful.
That no situation is perfect, or permanent
That no one is perfect, but everyone is amazingly beautiful in their own way,including you
That moment you realise perfection is boring, imperfection IS perfection.

That moment, you see
That moment, you breath
That moment,you live
That moment,you soar.

Be My Valentine Everyday

Now this here,is sweetness at its hilarious core. I know its not the season for Mushiness…or is it? There’s no season for love,man. Tho there is a season or calendar for love making(what?…dont even gimme that look,thats what they say). I totally love this piece and am gonna use it on my girlfriend…tonight 😉
Via text! Cus its the only way I can reach her for now. Boys take a cue. Enjoy.

Be My Valentine Everyday Dear_________(choose from list


please) “Candyfloss, Hot chocolate,


Cupcake, Sugarbun, pepperoni Pizza,


Banana chewing gum, Ostrich butter


bread, Danish butter cookies, Big


mac, strawberry milkshake, Okin


Biscuit. If not stated, please


Indicate.


It’s a beautiful morning


today, the sun shining brilliantly,


birds chirping melodiously, the


fragrance of spring and the smell of


freshly brewed coffee; Baby!! I woke


up thinking of you. thought to write to you.


Ever since that day you smiled at me,


i couldn’t get my heart of you. Got


your image tattooed on my mind. I


see you everywhere I go, in anything


I do and even in everybody, except


my Anatomy teacher (He’s very


wicked and mean)


My tomato juice, anytime I look into


your eyes, I never see the


fire”Tuface” sang about, but I only


see your beautiful eyeballs (white


sclera+ your brown iris+ your


pupils). Maybe I’m not looking well,


but I swear, the day I see fire, I’m


gonna extinguish it, because I don’t


ever wanna see you hurt.


You are such a wonderful


piece of art. God really took his time


creating you, and wants you to fall


into good hands (My hands) that’s


the exact reason why you were born


on ______ (fill in date of birth please)


and not in the 1800s. We met not as


a coincidence, Darling, we were


meant to be.


My potato purée, please be


forewarned; Plenty Ponmo boys


(defined as; shallow minded boys


that are not of benefit to you) will


come your way, flaunting money,


and promising you good things. Even


though I can’t take care of you now,


I promise to work hard, make


money, take you anywhere you


wanna go: from Outside the globe, to


the centre of the earth. I’m ready to


be your donkey (airplane as an


alternative). Anything you want I will


give you!! Mention it; flowers,


chocolate, clothes, shoes, love, care,


attention, e.t.c even Diamond ring


(you know it’s not compulsory, but if


you really really really want it)


But concerning the issue of a man


catching grenade for his babe… On a


serious note please don’t go


anywhere you will be involved with


firearms!!! I can manage to take a


bullet or two for you (On MY ARM


OR LEGS please not in vital places,


like the HEAD, HEART, SPLEEN e.t.c)


BUT I CAN’T CATCH A GRENADE FOR


YOU. This is just logic, if I catch a


grenade for you, I will die, and you


will continue with your life, and


probably forget me. Don’t get it


twisted boo, even though I can’t


catch a grenade for you, I sure can


erect a barricade to keep you safe!


Having said all this, I’m sure I’ve


been able to convince you that I am


of a good mind, and I love you like a


fat kid loves cake (stolen from


50cents’s 21 questions). Today is the


3 day of March and I wanna ask


you to be my valentine. I’m not


confused sweetness, I just don’t want


you to be my Val only for one day; I


want you to be MY VALENTINE


EVERYDAY! So what do you say?


Expecting a reply….. XoXo

This Is To Moving On

Found this piece through a friend and thought to share it…
This is to moving on
(would like to point out that this
piece and ”goodbye finally” are
not from a real break up,
relationship wise, but, i was
inspired. A series of events led
to my writing these. I also had
other things and people in my
life i needed to say goodbye to
and was hoping others felt the
same way.)I got caught up in
the idea of us, that i lost me.
I gave into the comfort you
offered,
the familiarity you represent(ed)
that i dreaded change.
You embodied all that i had come
to know, and my memory’s full of
you.
So you became like an old
couch,wrinkled, threadbare and
musty.
yet i kept you around.
you became a permanent fixture i
wasn’t ready to be rid of.
i treated you with care so you
wouldn’t be ruined.
I gave you attention and time,
I nurtured, and i pampered to
show you i cared.
But you see,
I was losing myself, loosing my
identity.
I couldn’t remember a time we
weren’t together.
A time when i was just me and
content in knowing that.
A time where i took chances and
opened myself up to new things.
Where i gave others a chance.
I’ve shed too many tears to last me
a life time,
Suffered heart ache and now
”my hearts crippled by the vein i
keep on closing”….
I’ve bled enough for you.
I know i said i’d
cry a thousand rivers,
and
will love you always
and
forever.
But you know what? I’m drowning
and my hearts becoming too numb.
Love’s meant to heal, but all i feel
is bruised and wounded.
It’s meant to be a work of art,
and I almost believed I had become
a connoisseur, given the best to
appraise,
but all i see now is a bleeding
canvas.
It’s not a
picture of a thousand sunsets
and our
bed of roses
is past wilting, its made up of
thorns.
I thought we made good music but
all i hear is a broken record.
I’ve finally come out of my stupor,
and realized
we were always meant to say
goodbye.
Everyone thought we were perfect,
but honey, perfects not enough to
make us survive.
i guess this is me not trying to hurt
you, but doing so all the same.
it pains me to see you this way and
knowing i caused it.
But better now than later. Now we
get out with scars only.
Hush!!!, don’t say a word,
don’t try to change my mind, you
deserve better…
and i definitely deserve the best.
So, am already
gone,
this is me moving on.
By Sunesis.

Culled from Sunesiss.wordpress.com